Starting My Own Company

Well now that I know I can blog on my iPad, I have a lot more flexibility when I blog so as part of my posts you'll get to know where I'm at. So, today I am at Ben's parents house for dinner - were having grilled chicken, and a most delicious dessert from Paula Dean.

Well, last week I decide that I would open my own business. I really love my job (or the idea of my job) at the charter school association, but given my pay cut and lack of ability to make final decisions on things I feel like I needed another opportunity, plus I think the timing is right. I have several people that have asked recently and with electIons coming up next year it also provides a great opportunity to take on a few local state races. This week ill be working on a business plan - calling a few people, looking at different opportunities, and figuring out what a contract will look like - I think they will be different for non-profits and candidates.

So it should be an exciting several weeks as everything (hopefully) comes together.

Testing...

So, I am still looking for a hobby. I really like the puzzle suggestion. Particularly as we have very few people coming to the house now that would be the perfect use for the dinning room table!

Okay, so I'm testing this out. I am doing this on my iPad to see if I can do this at night on my bed...I think it is going to work! So, you will be hearing a lot more from me on a regular basis.

Needing a Hobby

Well, it has clearly been much too long since I have last posted. In fact, I am somewhat ashamed about how long it has been especially given the insane amount of things that have happened the last 6+ months. So here is a quick listed re-cap...

1. New Job - I am not the Director of Development at the Utah Association of Public Charter Schools
2. Legislative Session - we dominated, Union: 1 Children: 12
3. Dating (takes so much time, but worth it)
4. Spontaneous weekend in Disneyland
5. Visit family in Detroit
6. Re-brand UAPCS
7. Complete (still putting up content) rebuild of UAPCS Website
8. Plan and held UAPCS Annual Conference - huge success
9. Weekend in San Antonio for Jessica's (friend from DC) wedding
10.. Kids arrive home for 6 weeks (were down to only about 2 weeks left)
11. Heidi comes back from Detroit

I likely missed a few things in there, but I believe that covers the highlights. If I regret anything it is not taking more pictures - I am so terrible at that! I am hoping to get a new camera soon (crossing fingers) and I think that will make me more motivated to take some good pictures, regularly.

It has been great to have the kids home - I miss them a lot. And while the house stays cleaner, I get more sleep and can stick to a routine when they are not here, it is worth all the chaos to have them!

So moving on from the very brief summary of what has happened over the last 6+ months I have determined recently that I need a hobby - I don't have one. I mean I like to read, shop, run, and...I am sure there is something else.  But for the most part I am just a work-a-holic. I am up early in the morning, when I go to the gym I read my scriptures and then do email. Then I get ready and go to the office all day. I leave typically around 6 and then I go to Ben's or Ben comes to my house and we hang out and then it off to bed between 10-11pm and it starts all over again. Ben and I have things we do together, but nothing that you could really consider a hobby of sorts - as I have never and will never consider watching movies, TV, or sports as a hobby (I am sure there are people that do consider this a hobby and they likely could quote movies and shows for days, however I find this to be mostly a complete waste of time and energy).

So, I need a hobby - but here are the conditions of this hobby. I am not creative or crafty - so stamping, scrap booking, and anything that would require similar abilities are simply not feasible as they stress me out more than I enjoy them ( I should note there that I am no longer a craft virgin - my aunt KAren has been very patient with me as I have made 3 different bridal shower invitation with her. Which has been a very fun experience, but that is due to good company and someone I can follow the lead of. For me to take that type oft ask up on my own would be way too much). Next, the hobby cannot be something that takes a long time to do and likely can be quit at any given moment. My life is fast paced and busy I can't go hiking regularly where it would take me 10-20 minuted to drive to the trail head and then spend a few hours going up and then come down, my schedule is quite full and to fit in any activity that takes a significant amount of time out of a given day would be very difficult and I could not do it.

I do want the hobby to be fun, easy, enjoyable, helps me to relax and focus on something other than work. I suppose I am looking for suggestions...

How many are we feeding?

7 Hams
336 Home-made rolls
36 lbs Shredded potatoes
10 lbs Shredded cheese
60 oz Cream of Chicken Soup
180 oz Green beans
8 lbs Spinach
14 Cheesecakes

As we were standing in line to check out (we had already bought the hams at another store), the couple behind us says,
"That is a lot of cheese, you must be making tacos."
To which my Mother replied, "no, we are feeding a bunch of young men...120 of them."
The reaction was priceless.  I think there jaws were on the floor for a full minute and honestly thinking about it, feeding 120 is one thing, but feeding 120 young men?  There is only one place in the world any one person would be willing to do such a thing, let alone find 120 young men who would be well enough behaved for any person to handle it.

Mall Walking

Day one of Detroit I experienced something I have never experienced before, mall walking.  Apparently this is done across America, however I will forever and always think of it as a Michigan thing.  

Too cold to walk outside, not a problem!  Go down to you local mall, open as early as 6:00am and join a hundred other people as they cruise through the mall.  No shopping, only walking (and some coffee drinking).  I couldn't believe it - we walk in and practically get run over by an old woman on a mission, a walking mission.  We jumped in the rotation and off we went.  I would have to say we passed up many people were there, apparently many are regulars which my Mom pointed out, others were new like myself, except about 40 years older.

I reckon you will be able to find me at the local mall here around 8am for the next 19 days.

Airports

I love airports.

I think they are exciting - there are hundreds of people all going a hundred different places, Grandmas, Grandpas, newly married couples, teenagers with their ipods as permanent fixtures to their heads, families, singles, business, a leisure travelers, and little ones - some not even big enough to walk, others who drag their Dora rolling bags behind them full of crayons, puzzles and books all packed with the hope that they won't ask "are we there yet?".

Traveling during the holidays adds to the excitement of each traveler as they look forward to hot chocolate, fires, snow, family, friends, the presents, lights and pure happiness that accompanies the holidays.  And then there is TSA...

The TSA is probably the most unhappy group of individuals ever to cross the planet during the holidays, and for that matter most of the year.  They stand, stare, wonder who will be their next victim they can legally grope.  Honestly I am surprised they do not fall asleep standing as they point, grunt, and tell you to take off your shoes, your belt, your sweater and whatever else will cause the metal detector to go off, oh and you can't bring that toothpaste tube, or any other liquid larger than 3oz and no more than can fit in a quart bag.  And then after all that can you step into this full body scanner that will then give me a naked picture of you, thanks.

Fortunately, my trip to Detroit did not entail any pornographic pictures or sexual assaults - so I am counting my blessings.  Overall it was a smooth trip, and now that I have arrived I am grateful to be with my family.

Bring on the hot chocolate, warm fires, late movies with the siblings, time with the missionaries, and the pure joy of Christmas.

Waiting for "Superman"

If you have school age children or pay taxes - you need to see this movie!  Going into it you need to know that it is a documentary, so it is a bit slow and can seem long, however you must stay till the end - it is one of the most heart wrenching, emotional films I have seen in a long time.

It is currently showing at the Broadway Centre Theatre on Salt Lake. You can watch the preview below.

Falling backward

Looking back at my previous post it seems strange to write what I am going to write now, it is amazing how quickly things can change - and when it comes to depression and anxiety I have learned it is a daily battle.  It often feels like I am juggling several things and if I drop one, they are start to come tumbling down one by one... the good part is I am recognizing it - and that gives me the opportunity to change it!

The last couple of weeks have been awesome.  In fact there have been several times I have looked back to the days even before I knew what was wrong with me and thought, "I cannot even replicate those feelings, it is hard to even imagine them".  And then before I forget them completely - I stop doing something I know I need to be doing...this time it was exercise.  I have been so busy with a million other things that I have not been properly exercising.  I have been walking in the mornings 2 or 3 times a week, and then I have run on the treadmill downstairs once or twice, but not a good hard workout.  And this week - nothing.

So, just as I drop the ball on that one I begin to feel a shift in my mood.  I am more irritable, distracted, can't seem to figure out what to accomplish, sad, exhausted (much more than usual), and broke into tears diving home for no apparent reason.

The answer - looks like I better get up in the morning and run it out, then get back to my gym routine!

Productivity

Just writing that word makes me happy, and today was a very productive day.  Nothing special - I woke up, ran, read my scriptures, went to work, ran all my errands for the week, and finished up some work.  If only every day could be as productive.

I am not sure what stands in the way of always having a productive day, however some days are simply better than others.  And you know, I still went to the Barfuss' to use the Biomodulator and watched a little TV.

One day, every day will be as productive.

Mission Bonds

There is something very unique about missions and missionaries and their families really - any connection you can get with a missionary currently serving whether it is just a friend or your own son or daughter somehow brings you closer to them.  I experienced it on my mission and now I get to experience it again with my parents serving.

So, today I had dinner with the Peays.  Elder Peay is currently serving as an Assistant with my Dad, and Brother Peay is serving as a counselor in a neighboring singles ward that I attend who used to serve in the bishopric with my Bishop... so, if that makes any sense at all, that is how I ended up at dinner with the Peay family tonight!  It was wonderful to visit with them, learn more about Landon and their family.

I am so grateful for their willingness to open their home to me.

One of the greatest blessing I have had in my families absence is the tremendous amount of love and support I have felt from so many - family members, friends, ward members, and even strangers like the Peays (who are no longer strangers!).

My Family

Just before my family went to Detroit we had new family pictures done!  The last time we had pictures taken was just before my mission.  However even after taking those we failed to take a 'square' picture to hang over our mantel in the family room.  The picture that was there had hung there for nearly 11 years and Matthew wasn't even in the picture.  We hope he hasn't had a complex for the last 10 years... however it has now been replaced!

It looks beautiful over the mantel and clearly a lot of growing up has occurred since the last picture which filled its spot.

And this one will soon be hanging over the mantel in the mission home.

Gotta love my sisters!

And my brothers!

And we love our Mom...

And our Dad.

General Conference Weekend

I love General Conference.

There is nothing better than good food, sitting at home and watching Conference.  While, it would be nice to have the whole family around, we tried to keep up all the traditions...Heidi and two of her roommates came as well as Meredith and some mission friends of my grandparents.  In fact, last night every bed in the house had bodies in it!  It's been a while since that happened!  It was great to have so many people around.

Conference opened with Elder Holland.  I think he set the tone, for me, for the rest of the Conference.  It was very different for him, focusing on gratitude and the incredible blessings that we have.  I was particularly impressed as he spoke specifically to his mother, as I thought about my Mother and Father that have done so much for me (I just love my Family!).

I have yet to pick out an overall theme for the Conference, however I believe that Faith was woven through many of the talks.  I will be listening to many of them this week to see what I can find.  However, I was undoubtedly filled with much light and desire to do better!  President Uchtodorf touched me particularly with a desire to do and be better.

Saturday night - Girls night!  We did not get a very early start, however it was not really necessary we got ready and went to Salt Lake.  We drove up to the Capitol (we did this last Conference and it is so beautiful, so this may become a tradition).  Then we met Garrett after Priesthood and went to Ruth's Chris for dinner!  It was awesome!  It was the last night of Dine O'round - so we had a 3 course meal for $30 and worth every penny!

Does life ever slow down?

My sister, Ashley, texted me today and said, "I checked out your blog today and you need to write an update!"

I could not agree more.  I have been very bad at keeping this updated, against my own hopes.  However life has become busier and busier...well, maybe that is not entirely true.   I am officially done going to weddings this summer - I totaled 9 weddings this summer that I attended.  5 of which were family which meant the bridal shower and wedding, the others I opted for only one piece of the wedding celebration.  On top of the weddings I also went to DC, Detroit, and Cleveland - traveling 3 weeks in a row -was exhausting.  I thought I liked traveling a lot until then.  However each trip was worth it.

Detroit was naturally my favorite, as I was able to spend time with my family.  The best part was being able to stay for one day of Zone Conferences, I forgot how much I missed hearing my Dad teach.

DC was also amazing!  Heidi, Whitney, and I went out for Glenn Beck's 8/28 Restoring Honor Rally.  It was amazing to be with so many like minded, God-fearing people.  I can't wait to be in heaven with that group of individuals.

Cleveland was my least favorite, however still an experience.  I went out for the annual SPN conference.  I learned a lot, however the best part was going to Lola's - the new Iron Chef Michael Symon's restaurant.  It was amazing!!  While Michael was not there, Emeril was eating there.  That has to say something!

Since then I have mostly been recovering from the 'vacations'.  Laundry finally got done, the bathroom cleaned, and room vacuumed.  However, int he meantime - the alarm battery died, the projector went out, the upstairs TV went bad, and the hot water heater died.  So for about 4 days I have been showering at Bart & Shell's.  Good times.

And life continues to go on....

After the Storm

I think there is a gospel principle which is not discussed as much as it is relevant.  The perfect example of this is Joseph Smith when he prayed.  If you read the account it is not till he says "I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction...I saw a pillar of light..."  It was not until he could not do anymore that God came in and rescued him.

I wouldn't say yesterday that I was about to abandon all hope by any means, but it had been one of those days and after going to dinner with Shay I felt as if I were going to go into another panic attack.  Then I go the mail.  Among the junk there was a strange letter from and address I was not familiar with, other than the city - Frisco, TX, my greenie area on the mission.

I opened the letter and found a baptism program and thank you card from a man I had taught.  He was one of those you never expect anything will come of.  Not, that he wasn't receptive simply that he would not be willing to live it.

There is no greater joy than feeling as if you you played some small role in bringing one of Father's lost children home.

A need to write

Well, it has clearly been much too long since I have written - my background has even been lost, the real sign that I have been either too busy, too tired, or too occupied with other things to know.  And while I could spend the time catching you up on what i have been doing there is not much to tell other than I have been to a bridal shower and reception every week for the last month and have one more month to go of about the same routine.

Other than that, life is about the same - work, sleep, gym and then work some more.  The kids all came back for a visit this last week and will be here for a couple weeks which will be fun - things are more chaotic with them home - the house doesn't stay clean, the milk runs out quickly, and the house is still awake after 10:30pm at night.

However, today I just needed to write.  I had a good morning and for some reason or another I feel very stressed right now.  The original plan was to get up - walk (which was deterred slightly as my knee was killing me still this morning), make breakfast (which was delayed because the milk was all gone), read my scriptures (which was distracted because people began to be awake and ask questions about all sorts of things), then enter the last 100 donations in my file into the database by 11am, make a quick Costco and Great Harvest bread run (something else I was missing this morning for breakfast), and be to work just after 12, noon.

Well, the data took longer to enter than I anticipated, Blake bailed on going to Costco and I got to work at 1:00pm.  And while I should simply accept this and move on, I am frustrated and stressed.  Which writing it all down seems quite silly.  So it took longer than I anticipated, and I'll just have to go to Costco tonight.  Not really a big deal.  Except that I still feel some angst about it - I suppose it could be some carry over from my anxiety attack last night.

Ultimately I simply wish I had 4 more hours in the day - that would give me sufficient amount of time to accomplish all that I needed to and get my necessary to stay sane 8 hours of sleep every night.  If anyone knows how to do that I am willing to pay big money.

One Year

As I was sitting reading my scriptures this morning I realized that today marks exactly one year of being home form my mission.

It seems very strange.

I was reading about faith when it hit me.  For all that know how long it took me to go on a mission, not only the time, but more the struggle with God as I pitted my will against his.  It was a true lack of faith.  A lack of faith in Jesus Christ that he had a plan for me, which was better than my plan for myself.  Looking back now I know that His plan was better.  However I am still led to ask myself, if God asked me to leave again, would I do it?  And even more so than that would I do whatever was asked of me.

In light of the overturn of California's proposition 8 yesterday, it hit me harder than it has before how close we are to the second coming of Jesus Christ.  The world in undoubtedly become more wicked and evil every day.  And people continue to choose Satan's plan.  The struggles that I and each of us will face will be more than any of us can imagine at this time.  The only thing that will get us through will be a solid foundation built upon faith in Jesus Christ.

We must have a correct understanding of Him - characteristics, attributes - we must trust Him with our whole souls if we are going to survive the next years.

I think I have a long way to go and my only hope is that I will be bale to stand till the end.

Getting Back to Normal

Well, things are slowly getting back to normal.  As normal and things can be that is - given that my family will no longer be here.  My parents went to the MTC yesterday morning - that is after the AC stopped working and we had a small flood in my room.  Literally everything in the house has broken down over the last month.  Which has no doubt added to the stress that my Mom and Dad have felt in the last several weeks, but I have also been grateful for it as it means that I do not have to deal with it all breaking down the months after they leave!

I have also been feeling much better - I feel like I am getting back to myself.  I started taking an all natural supplement, SAM-E.  You take it the morning and it helps with serotonin levels and it is all natural which is the only way that I am willing to go.  I have taken for about two weeks now, I have missed a day here and there.  There was a set of days I missed 3 or 4, and I noticed a clear difference on the fourth day I was no myself.  I will undoubtedly be looking into other things, but for now this has been a great help, and I reckon that someday I will no longer have to take it, one can only hope!

Work is moving along slowly, but it is moving forward which is a good thing.  I am adapting to my parents not being here.  Thanks to great friends and family I think all will be well, not that I ever doubted, but nonetheless.  The next week will be busy.  My parents come home from the MTC on Sunday afternoon.  We are doing dinner with family that night, a big family FHE on Monday and then they take off on Tuesday.  I leave on Thursday and will be in Detroit with them thru July 5th.  After that things could get a little boring around here...

VICTORY!

Today was primary election day.  I believe the photos explain the story.  I have supported Mike Lee from the beginning and it was awesome to see him win!  I feel that I have already been on the right (as in correct) side of an issue/person, but this time it feels really good to be on both the right side and the winning side!!

When early voting numbers came in we had a slight lead of a about 3%.  We were on the edge of our chairs the whole night watching the as the numbers came in.  Cheering at when even the percentages didn't change, but more precincts had reported.

Around 10:00 pm we realized that we were going to keep the lead...

Me and Heidi went late to the party, but ended up in the perfect spot as Mike and the core staff came down from upstairs - clearly very excited!

The phone call to Tim Bridgewater

The acceptance speech - with the family looking on.

The media - Richard Piatt, always first on the job.

It was an exciting night and you could no doubt feel the energy in the room.  I did not take these pictures - I wish I had such talent, but that is not the case.  On to a win in November!

Endure JOYFULLY to the End

It will be hard for me to express all the feelings that I have had today – going to church and seeing so many people that I love and feeling that love reciprocated by so many others.

As I woke up and got ready, I was slightly overcome with emotion – the joys that had had in the Fluckiger’s home. To be able to witness their lives, the lives of a couple who truly understand and know the truthfulness of the gospel. I had butterflies in my stomach as we went to church, it felt somewhat odd and truly surreal to be back in that building, then as I saw the missionaries at the door I was once again overcome. I sat down – Kathy Bishop was sitting with Sis. Waldbusser in front of us. I gave her a huge hug. I had been thinking about her all morning – wondering if she was going to be there, how her Dad was doing, where she was living…and there she was, I gave her a hug, but as the meeting had already begun I didn’t have time to do anything else.

Sister Holland was sitting next to us, I need to call her – there are so many I wish I could have spent more time with, seen more, talked to longer – I hope to stay longer next time. There were so many people, the Moores, the Cannons, Nelsons, Skidmores – I am confident I am leaving out so many. Gospel Principles had just started as I walked in, but I had to say Hi to James, as I shook his hand and asked how he was doing – I could tell he did not realize who I was, as I sat down behind him, he realized he knew me – I said, “Sis. Holmes”. I will never forget the look on his face. As we talked after – I just wanted to give him a big hug. He alone changed my understanding of the Atonement and the true power that it has. He said he had been in talking to the Bishop, and on the whiteboard in his office someone had written “endurance à”. Before he left, he told me he had to write “joyfully” above it. I was so touched that he would remember something like that – something that I had taught, and Bishop knew it came from me.

I have no way of explaining how much that meant to me. I assured him I would be at his baptism – there is nothing that will stop me from being there.

Sis. Fluckiger made dinner for us – pork chops & apple sauce – it was wonderful. She gives the greatest advice – it was so good to be able to just sit and talk to her, really talk. She is no doubt a mother to me. She has given me so much strength, encouragement, and peace so many times. There are no words I can express for the love that I have for her and her boyfriend.

Temple, Reunions, and a Good Long Talk

What a day it has been - I am utterly exhausted, and really quite surprised that I made it this late. I thought I was going to loose it around 5pm, and now its past midnight!

The sealing this morning - there are no words to describe the amazing feeling that was there. I had prayed that I would get confirmation about them being sealed, and I did. They walked into the sealing room and as the sealer gave counsel and instruction - which was perfect for them - a flood of memories and emotions cam flooding through my mind. The first time I went to their house, and I thought, "if I ever have to go there again I may die", to leaving here and thinking it would be nearly impossible to leave. It was worth every penny it took to get here. The spirit that overcame me - with total love and gratitude that I had been a part of that. That he had given me the opportunity to be a witness of the beginning of a great miracle - the miracle of change, true spiritual change.

I was able to see Sis. Countryman, the Stevenson in laws, Sis. Aanerud, Anya, and Kristi. I wish I would have been able to sit and really talk with Kristi - I miss her, and talking to her. She is amazing. She taught me so much about faith in following your leaders, she has an inner strength that comes from that faith in Jesus Christ that I am in awe of. Anya is about to burst, literally - she is due with her baby girl in a few weeks and Sis. Countryman is pregnant again. The Gardners, Haskins and Sis. Howard came over fro dinner - how wonderful it was to see them. It seems as if everything and yet nothing has changed.

Sis. Howard and I sat and talked for what seemed like only an hour or so, but she only left a little bit ago - which means it was multiple hours. It was good to talk. There is something about talking with someone you love and admire that just makes you think. It is one of my favorite things to do - it brings me an inner peace and calm. I think it is like that quote about how it is often through other people that the Lord meets our needs. And that is one way that he does it for me, giving me people I can talk to - on a deep personal level.

I wish I could stay longer - to have more time to just talk.